Friday, April 4, 2008

Tired

I was thinking about this today - perhaps it's the periodic migraines making their very unwanted return, but does anyone just get sick and tired of the church and denomination game? I was thinking about how nice it'd be to not be tied down to any one church and church hop for awhile. Don't get me wrong, I'm still very passionate about GP, it's cause and everything - but there are times when I just want to go and explore. I want to see the rest of the body of Christ - their beauty, their practices, their love and passion for God.

Perhaps it's because deep inside I cannot believe God put us in a church that totally doesn't fit us - or atleast me. I long for tradition, ritual, reverence (the way I prefer it which I openly admit is not the only way to do it and doesn't mean I think other's are wrong).

But what is absolutely wonderful, every time I get to feeling this way, "Why God? Why here?" Every time I get frustrated with people, events, service, anything and everything human that gets in the way - God brings me back down. He reminds me that He placed us here for a reason, then usually reminds me with a vivid example. Today I felt so incredibly frustrated with some discussion over at BID and Barbie totally reminded me of the service that she so admires in me. I forget a lot about my servant's heart which has been developed and inspired at Grace Point. It's the vision for serving the community without an agenda that I am so passionate about. And then I begin to think about Grace Point - the passion in those who serve regardless if they have to serve in 15 different capacities because just like everywhere else, there's always a need for volunteers. God reminds me about the lessons I've learned there, the passion GP has for reaching people where they are instead of making them come up to God's standards (hello have any of us done that yet?). When I feel like I just want to chill at home on Sunday mornings and duck out of any fellowship, when my fire is out, when I'm exhausted and just totally burned out and don't want to see anyone - God is there. He reminds me why He placed me there, the work He has done in me since we've been there, and most importantly - that GP is just another organ, limb, etc in His body. And as such, it's different from other places, but right now, He wants us there serving His kingdom - regardless of how little or much we do (I say little).

I'll admit - there are days I just don't want to do that. There are some days when looking to the cross doesn't motivate me, when remembering grace doesn't motivate me (hey I'm being honest here), but thinking of the fellowship, lessons learned, and the hard working people at GP does. So I'll get up and go do my small part. And I think, it gets a little easier every time and certainly more enjoyable.

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