Wednesday, January 2, 2008


This past spring/summer (2007) my friend Barbie was living in Santa Barbara. One of her pastors made the comment that what he enjoyed most about his wife was that "she didn't have a lot of opinions about a lot of things she didn't need to have opinions about," and that when she did have opinions she didn't dwell on them or allow them to "cloud her purpose". I remember being really inspired by these comments - after the initial shock wore off of course.

Ever since then, when my wagging tongue is out of control (James 1:26) and I feel convicted even as I'm mouthing off, I think back to those comments. I feel bright red and guilty, but then slowly push those thoughts aside as I continue to unleash my tongue.

But last night, I was strongly reminded and convicted of the importance of controlling our tongues, our thoughts, and our opinions. Recently I heard - although I forget where at this moment - that all conflicts are the results of egos. It's true. I conflict with people when I think my way is the best way, or my thoughts are the best thoughts, etc. Which is the exact opposite of humility. And God hates pride. . .

Last night, some longtime friends came over and we were discussing parenting. My friend shared an example that to me was just shocking and absolutely not acceptable. I neither controlled my face or my tongue as I spouted off my opinions on the matter. Then she - very humbly - stated that while this manner of parenting we were discussing were not okay for her, it wasn't her kids and the kids seemed happy so she was trying to let it go. All at once, I was reminded about the pastor's comments about having opinions.

As I thought more about it after they left I began to realize that God had shown me someone in action who adheres to controlling their thoughts and not allowing their opinions to cloud their purpose. What a humbling experience.

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