Monday, July 30, 2007

Vision

Warning: A bit graphic in the first few paragraphs.

I went from being almost half blind (my perscription was at -.9.50) to being able to see, drive, and read without my glasses on. All by the modern science of Lasik surgery. I want to share a few blessings, other than the obvious, that have come from this.

During the consultation, they have you watch a seven minute instructional video that gives you an overview on what is going to be done, the recovery, and so forth. The video, is a bit scary because they explain that they will actually be slicing open your eye on the top and flip it open for the laser to do it's "magic". Ewk.... I cannot even stand for someone to do my eye makeup at a department store, let alone pry it open and slice it up like a tomatoe for a laser....

However, day of the surgery came and I was decided that I would do it, that the surgery was quick and painless and I'd be perfectly okay. They give everyone a dose of Valium before the surgery to calm the patient so they aren't twitching and therefore endangering their vision. I was feeling quite relaxed ..... until, they placed the numbing drops in my eyes, placed this circular thing on me eye to keep it open, and heard the buzz of the little slicer opening me up. Then, my heart was pounding in my ears and I was frankly terrified. I saw smoke coming up and realized it was my eye from the laser. The doctors stated that if someone paniks during the surgery, their eye goes into involuntary spasms - and they'd have to stop the surgery. Well, of course that's what occured with me. They paused the surgery and told me to calm down. I began slow and deep breathing and began meditating on scripture. With verses in my mind, I began to calm down and my eye stopped spasming.

Over the following days, while my vision is 100% improved and it's such an amazing miracle to me to open my eyes in the morning and see clearly without glasses or contacts. It's amazing. It takes up to six months for one's vision to fully adjust and settle - the biggest changes occuring the first six weeks. I can see so well - except small street signs, microwave and VCR clocks and some reading. Also, there are "halos" around anything lit - like cars. Tonight, I had to last minute run to my broker's office to fax docs out and realized I needed gas. My parent's store was only a short amount away and they have the cheapest gas anywhere in town, so I went down there. I had my Bible and Beth Moore study with me (expecting to be longer and waiting on faxes at the firm's office) and while turning into the gas station I was felt that I needed to check in on Ron (the homeless man I've been blogging about). He wasn't there - the other homeless guys said he was across the street at the park.

With halos around everything lite, I didn't feel comfortable driving while it was becoming increasing dark outside. I told myself it wasn't the right time tonight and began to wait for traffic to clear so I could turn home. Yet strangly, I went ahead and turned into the park. I wanted to go home, be with my family, feed my empty tummy - didn't the Lord know this? Yet, I turned in. In my mind I began thinking, "Okay, one drive around the lot to see if I see him." He was supposed to be in this soccer field - with it being dark now and my eyes dry and a bit hazzy, I couldn't clearly make anyone out. However, I looked and as I neared the exit, I told the Lord I was going home. No - I felt I needed to keep looking. Ah! I wanted to go home. "Okay Lord, but I'm not getting out of my car."

As I began to circle around again, I said, "Okay Lord, if this is Your will, point him out to me. Make him clear to me."

Hazzy, dried out eyes that couldn't make out any of the people in the fields suddenly saw Ron clearly as if he were standing right in front of me. Whoa. Okay Lord, I get it. I pulled up, parked, and called out to his retreating figure. It was him allright. We caught up since our last meeting last week. And then I shared with him the study I was reading by Beth Moore, he was very interested so I fetched it from my car and we sat down to read Day One - about King Uzziah and his pride.

After we discussed the selected verses, their application to life, and how we could avoid falling in the same trap, Ron looked at me and asked, "Do you think the Lord is trying to humble me? Am I prideful?"

A breakthough!! Finally! YES he's being prideful - he won't admitt his good works can't get him into heaven. He shared with me that he believes he has something to ponder and think over. When he asked me this question, while every part of me wanted to answer him in detail - I held me tounge and simply encouraged him to pray and seek the Lord.

Vision - Thursday is started out as something I didn't really have, to something that was seared into me, then was hazzy - creating halos everywhere, to finally clear - by the will of the Lord in a world lacking in clarity.

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