Had You not searched and found me?
How would I have known that I was blind
Had you not made me see?
How would I have known my bleeding
'Til You bound Your love around me?
How would I have groaned my slavery
Until You set me free?"
I allowed the harness of slavery to come over me. From the legalism I found comforting and a form of security in the LDS church, to mismanaging my thoughts, to pride, and daily routines that do not glorify God or exeplify what it means to live a Christian life. The Word states:
The Psalmist tells us to "hide" God's Word in our hearts so that we might not sin against Him. Throughout the past year, I've done just this, memorizing verses and references. And I became proud because I do this and others I knew, could not. I allowed the praise of people that I "knew" my Bible to override my humilty that I all I know - is been a blessing and gift from the Lord. And in reality, I know very little truth. When I shared with Steve that we are to "hide" God's Word in our heart, he was confused. Why should we "hide" it?
I went to my Strong's concordance and looked up "hide" from this passage. It is a verb - an action. It means to "cherish or store up". We are to be activly storing up and cherishing God's Word in our heart. When we turn ourselves to Him, understanding we are slaves to our flesh, and in humilty seek His will first, we are moved to obediance. However, if we constantly rely upon ouselves and not God - then we are living in the flesh, thus hindering ourselves. Rick Warren gave a beautiful example of a motor boat set on auto-pilot to go East and a person steering the boat by force to go West. Eventually, we grow tired and will let go of the wheel and the boat will go back to it's internal programming - to go East. Paul also describes this in Romans chapter 7:14-25
While my heart and mind want to serve the Lord, be obediant, and walk with Him all of my days - my flesh, my body does not want to. It wants to stay up late watching Studio 60 or LOST so that I'm too tired the next day to wake early and spend my morning quiet time praising the Lord. Even when the Lord wakes me from a deep sleep and almost shouts in my mind, "Get up! Spend time with me!" and I'm even wide awake - I do not obey. I turn over, pull the covers over my head, and force myself to sleep again. My body does not want to minister to my husband when he returns from work, or when I'm sleepy, or have a migriane, or have had a rough day - I want him to take over for me and give me some "me" time. And even when it hits me - the time isn't mine to take, but the Lord's to give and for me to spend with Him, I still do not obey. It's not about me. It's about Jesus Christ - my Lord and my Savior. It's about my daily living sacrirfice to Him, and it's about my exercise of obediance when the Lord comes a-calling at 3:45 am.
King Uzziah had a glorious reign - he fortified the Southern Kingdom when his father, Amaziah had left it vulnerable; he was properous; he served the Lord and recieved instruction by Zecharaih in the ways and fear of the Lord - yet he still sucummbed to pride and aargonantly went into the Holy of Holies to light incense - this was the only authority withheld from him and given to the priests. At the end of his reign, the Bible does not state that he was remembered or spoken of as a visionary, great, or properous - even though he was. But rather, he was only remembered as a leper.
2 Chronicles 26:23 - for people said, "He had leprosy."
Do I want to walk my own way, independent of God and being just another person whom Paul spoke of when he stated: